Positive thinking

You’re a lucky bitch.

It’s a fact, so you might as well sit back in your big comfortable chair & accept it.
Right now, reading this article, you might be on your computer, or your iPad, snuggled up on the sofa. You might be on an aeroplane, or a beach somewhere squinting at your phone trying to read the screen through the glare, or maybe you arranged a little romantic camping trip with your snuggle-kins and they’ve fallen asleep so you’re getting in a bit of ‘Me-time’ with the Kindle. I don’t know which scenario applies to you, but I do know that you’re a lucky bitch.

I’m not a psychic, but I know this for certain.

I know that because you’re reading this; so you own a computer and have the internet. That automatically puts you in the top 3-5% of the world’s population. That’s right, 95-97% of the population of Earth currently do not have the internet. Not entirely staggering when you consider that in 2012, only around 25% of people on the planet sleep in their own bed every night.
You could have been born someplace where you’d have to avoid stray bullets on the way to college, or where giant 100ft waves randomly sweep in from the ocean every few years and carry your granny away, but you weren’t; you were born somewhere better.

You’re a lucky bitch.

The past year of my life has taught me, above all else, that the ability to focus on what you have and not what you don’t have is very important.  When something bad happens to you (and something bad will happen to you, it’s inevitable) you need to develop the ability to find something good in it.  This is obviously going to be near in some circumstances, but in those circumstances you must – at the very least – try to learn something from it.

The number one reason for being positive is that, as a positive person, you’re ALWAYS going to have a more positive experience of life. That’s the whole point of life, by the way; have the most positive experience possible. Your life is ALWAYS going to be better if you view the future as an exciting adventure filled with ups and downs and great experiences, than it’s going to be if you shut yourself in your room and think up new reasons to be anxious about what’s just around the bend.

Oh, and before I continue – sorry guys, positive thinking can’t cure cancer.  Some quasi-spiritualists like to write books and hold seminars telling you it’s possible, but it isn’t. I have an idea.  One of the guys making these ridiculous claims needs to put the profits from one of his books into a bank account, and then go live in a house with five cancer patients who have decided they don’t want to be medicated.  Then he can spend a year personally coaching them in positivity, devoting his time entirely to this purpose.  If ONE of the cancer patients is cured at the end (that’s ONE out of FIVE), he gets his money back.  I call bullshit.

Having said it can’t cure cancer, positive thinking CAN and WILL improve your life if you use it effectively.  If you’re not a natural positive-thinker, you can’t make this change overnight – but I’m putting together this series of articles to help you do it.

In the next few days, before I write another update, I want you all to do me a favour.  I want to hear some stories from you guys about how positive or negative thinking has affected your life recently.  Did something great happen to you as a result of thinking positively about it?  Did a part of your life spiral because you were thinking about it negatively?  Tell me! I’d love to hear from you.

Use the comments section below, e-mail me, or send me a text message – Just make sure I hear the story.

 

About the author: James

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20 Comments

  • Really well written post- a great read with an important message.

    As readers of my blog will know, I’ve suffered with depression on and off for a few years. I complain a lot and usually have a very negative outlook. However, recently I’ve realised doctors are doing nothing for me, I still felt empty- like I had nothing left in my life and I didn’t enjoy doing things. I did the one thing I had to do- I worked. I realised that my career is something I do have going for me. and focused on this positive aspect of my life. Since then, the things that got me down feel a lot less significant. They’re still upsetting, but by focusing on the positive I am more aware of other things that are right with my life.

    Like everyone, I’ve had bad experiences in life. I believe that even the worst experiences have positives in the, you just have to look hard enough.

    I may not like certain things in my life, but I’m living comfortably and people care about me.

    I’m a lucky bitch.

    • James admin

      Aysh, loved this! You’re making amazing progress, and I’m glad you keep me semi-updated with things you have going on, always cool to hear 🙂 I hope I see your name pop up on my site again and again!

  • Sam Hadadi

    I am a born pessimist. Not just that, but I’m also a perfectionist…the two don’t really go together. It means I’m ridiculously hard on myself, and the only person to ever hold me back is me. I’ve suffered from depression my whole life and I have no one to blame but myself!

    But since having a baby, I’ve started seeing the world in a much more positive light (cheesy, I know!). I don’t want him to grow up thinking negatively – I want him to be HAPPY, and it seems to have worked. He’s the happiest, most chilled out baby I’ve ever come across.

    Also, like you say, I’m a lucky bitch! While I can’t quite master being positive 100% of the time, and I doubt that I will ever shake off depression forever, I’m nearly there…I’ve never been happier, and every day I’m grateful for what I’ve got. I AM a lucky bitch!

    • James admin

      Sam, I wish you’d blog. Seriously, every time I get a message from you I’m like “Wow, this girl is a GREAT writer.” Do it!

      PS. This in no way changes the fact I think you’re super dull. 😀

  • Positive thinking has helped me completely change my life. I attended a positive thinking seminar at my college three months ago. Since then I’ve broken up with my boyfriend who I was deeply unhappy with, lost weight, started eating healthier and have taken up dance. Life has gotten so much better. My depression has gotten more manageable and I’m noticeably happier daily.
    Not much of a story, but a vast improvement on my life.

  • Kristen

    In February of 2012, I enlisted in the Army National Guard.
    Why? because I was a sophomore in college with thousands of dollars in loans.
    I trained daily and when the time came, I destroyed PT tests. Basic was an experience, to say the least.
    However, in the sixth week (of 9) a battle buddy dropped me off of an obstacle course, leaving me hanging forty feet by my waist. I couldn’t recover from the pain but attempted through week 7. The TMC doctors found a birth defect and chaptered me out without filing an LOD or anything that might get them in trouble for hurting a young soldier. I was down but not destroyed. Out processing is one of the worst parts of the army. Long days of doing nothing without contact with home. Never sure of whn you’re going home. The average soldier is out in 3-5 days. Due to a base-wide power outage, I was there for 12 days. I was forced to do physical activity and stay up extra late with fire guard. My injury was ignored.
    I assumed that going home would fix the depression but it didn’t. I was faced with the debt I could not pay, the injury I couldn’t fix and a bad breakup to cherry top it all.
    Over the last six months, I have dropped out of college, gotten a new job, a new home and a new boyfriend. I started thinking positively and realized that I have to make decisions that are best for me. I may not be living the life I THOUGHT I’d be. But I’m living a life full of positivity. And I am happy. Truly happy.

  • Kirby

    This is brilliant! You don’t realise how lucky you are until it’s put it front of you! I am a lucky bitch!

  • Exactly a year ago today I was made redundant from a job I had only been in exactly one month. In hindsight it was nothing more than a sneaky and underhanded way of a failing business not paying me off, but at the time, I was made to feel like it was a performance related issue. In truth, I have always been very good at what I do. If I am not, then I either improve pretty sharpish or do something else. I have always prided myself on it and so the setback hit me pretty hard. This job was a compromise, not to my skills but my outlook on them and myself. I didn’t feel positive about myself and so I plumped for a job which seemed safe and easy. It didn’t pay off, in four short weeks I was out on my ear and feeling like a failure. Combined with awful treatment at the hands of a person I was deeply in love with I was not in the best of places.
    I did all the things people usually do when they are made to feel crap- cried, saw everything as negative, said no to everything because I saw little point in it, smiled less, laughed never.

    It was a single text message which changed things for me, to this day I don’t even know if the person who sent it realises the impact it had on me but the message said “Stop waiting for permission to become a Photographer”.

    In that one sentence I saw everything that was holiding me back, myself; my impressions of other people, my outlook on life in general- it was all dependant on what OTHER PEOPLE LET ME DO. I realised that my work WAS good enough to do it for a job and that nobody would agree, much less pay me for it, unless I thought I was good enough too.

    I am not saying that I do not suffer from self doubt, I am not saying that bad days don’t happen.. I just manage them differently. I now approach everything with a “Can do” attitude and my initial tentative”fake it til you make it” approach has been replaced by a person who really can walk into a job and do it well.

    I even get paid for it.

    • James admin

      And paid well, judging by the shoots you tell me about! Congratulations, you’re a real success and you completely turned your life around. I still remember you from when you were unhappy, and look at you now. AMAZING transformation Abi.

  • A lot of people seem to hate life. They just hate everything. It doesn’t matter what it is. It could be the most beautiful day and these people will be moaning, scowling, complaining about something. So each day these people wake up angry. They share this angry energy with the world, trying to get more people to join them in their ‘I hate my life club’.

    Then there are some other people. Happy people. These people don’t worry about much, because they are just so happy being alive, being themselves, enjoying the journey.

    I used to be one of the angry people. It wasn’t that I wanted to be that way, it was just that I was so unhappy in myself. I was miserable studying for a degree with people I had little in common with, living in a city I felt no connection with. As time moved on I was able to leave my home, leave university, and start my life. I traveled, I moved to a new city, and I connected with myself. I felt happiness. I felt free. I felt that I was finally able to just be.

    I don’t really know how to explain positivity other than happiness. And I only know that I am happy by a feeling, a trust in myself. I don’t know what lies ahead, and as much as that scares me it is exciting too. Whatever happens, good or bad, it will happen, and I will be safe, because I have myself.

    There are some things that we have no control over. What we do have control over is our own well being, the lives that we lead, the choices that we make each day.

    I have uncovered the me that was hidden by layers of anger/negativity. I choose different things now. I choose happiness. Health is happiness, happiness is love. Xx

  • Helia

    Nice perspective.

    I believe people who think positively are better at seizing opportunities when they present themselves, and that’s definitely a plus in life.

    I’ll be waiting to read the next article 🙂

  • Brindy

    This is such an eye opener! I really enjoyed reading this article. It’s so easy to forget how much of a lucky bitch I actually am! Today is a new day and my positive thinking starts from now 🙂 thank you for writing this and opening my eyes!

  • I am all about positive thinking…. now! But it hasn’t always been that way.

    At the grand age of 36 I found myself stuck in a job that was going nowhere, single, and overweight. Don’t worry, this isn’t Take-a-Break and this isn’t one of those stories! What this is, is a story about how with a little bit positive thinking/confidence/magic (call it what you will), decisions can be made that can literally turn your life around.

    I was stuck in a job that day-by-day was grinding me down to the point where I had to be signed off with stress and depression. I was prescribed anti-depressants and was off work for four weeks. Not a great time! I eventually returned to find that none of the promised changes had materialised and so, after much deliberation, I decided to resign. This, however, wasn’t just any resignation, it was a five page, four point f**k you resignation by way of a grievance for poor behaviour and corporate bullying…and I won.

    This is all great however in reality, leaving a job without another job to go to had the very real potential to be career suicide. Or so I thought! In my new and improved and more positive frame of mind, I managed to secure myself a fabulous new job that started in January 2013.

    The story doesn’t end yet.

    Having steadily eaten my own body weight in takeouts over the years, I found myself a soul-destroying and miserable 3 stone overweight. My confidence was on the floor and at times, it felt as though the light at the end of the tunnel was firmly switched OFF! Change was needed! In August I joined a well known fat-club and over the four months following, I lost a staggering 2st 5lbs.

    My confidence, whilst not yet 100%, has returned and I’ve got my sexy back! THIS is worth its weight in gold! I still have a few more pounds to lose, and am still single, but you can’t have it all. I am happy and more importantly, I like myself. 😉

    So yes, positive thinking is like magic dust; and it can work wonders!

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